Ever heard of Misato Katsuragi? If you're not a fan of Neon Genesis Evangelion, or anime for that matter, I highly doubt that you'd know her, much more of what she said in the movie that off-shot from the series.
It went like this:
"I'm not perfect right now. I realized eveything that I have done wrong, and I regretted over and over again. It has been a continuous cycle of premature delight and self disgust. But each time, I felt like I stepped forward."
Right now, I am in the middle of that cycle just a little under self disgust.
Okay, I'm way under that I feel like I'm in a toilet bowl that is being flushed always but like some other shit on the bowl, I learned of ways of not being flushed through the drainage. And for me not to be lonely by myself with all the crap, I added some other ingredients in life to make my self disgust all the more worthwhile and eventful.
I fancied the idea of living away from home for a while. Nowhere close to living separately or independently, but in more ways than one, it is quite similar in a subtle manner only I can feel.
I can never really remember when I planned this, but all I can remember is that I plan to at least get out of the house for a while and do some thinking, planning this and that for my self. Sure I did some thinking but I never intended that thinking about something to find answers can lead to more questions unanswerable (as of the moment I hope).
It's like that Kamuning Road that crosses Tomas Morato and EDSA. It goes up then goes down. Goes up again then down again till you get to either end. What the hell is wrong with that road? I can only imagine it, before being landscaped. People might have had a hard time going to the 1800's EDSA to Tomas Morato found in a similar timeline. Anyway, as I said it's like--going up and down. Only now, I'm still down mustering some scattered self-esteem about the place to climb again. And for what? Just to go back down again.
Why'd it have to be so far.
Fucking EDSA...
It went like this:
"I'm not perfect right now. I realized eveything that I have done wrong, and I regretted over and over again. It has been a continuous cycle of premature delight and self disgust. But each time, I felt like I stepped forward."
Right now, I am in the middle of that cycle just a little under self disgust.
Okay, I'm way under that I feel like I'm in a toilet bowl that is being flushed always but like some other shit on the bowl, I learned of ways of not being flushed through the drainage. And for me not to be lonely by myself with all the crap, I added some other ingredients in life to make my self disgust all the more worthwhile and eventful.
I fancied the idea of living away from home for a while. Nowhere close to living separately or independently, but in more ways than one, it is quite similar in a subtle manner only I can feel.
I can never really remember when I planned this, but all I can remember is that I plan to at least get out of the house for a while and do some thinking, planning this and that for my self. Sure I did some thinking but I never intended that thinking about something to find answers can lead to more questions unanswerable (as of the moment I hope).
It's like that Kamuning Road that crosses Tomas Morato and EDSA. It goes up then goes down. Goes up again then down again till you get to either end. What the hell is wrong with that road? I can only imagine it, before being landscaped. People might have had a hard time going to the 1800's EDSA to Tomas Morato found in a similar timeline. Anyway, as I said it's like--going up and down. Only now, I'm still down mustering some scattered self-esteem about the place to climb again. And for what? Just to go back down again.
Why'd it have to be so far.
Fucking EDSA...
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